U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
I think weed is turning my hair brown
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
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