Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
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