thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
Randomize
