One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Randomize
