So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Randomize
