Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
It's just like the Real World with babies
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
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