dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
Randomize
