I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
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