chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
Randomize
