The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
I woke up wearing no shirt sleeping next to a half-eaten grilled cheese.
Well did you call the grilled cheese yet? Or r u waiting the usual 3 days?
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
This show inspires me to have sex in space
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
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