I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
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