P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
