Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
Randomize
