I wish I only lived at night.
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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