My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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