Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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