so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Randomize
