I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
It's Friday. Sex?
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Randomize
