I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
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