I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
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