I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
Randomize
