I like to think it a success when the cops are called
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
Randomize
