we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
