WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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