Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
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