he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
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