come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
My grandmother just called to say she disowned me. Apparently I uploaded a video to Youtube of me dancing nude with a blow-up doll named Dorothy, last night. You are so fired from being damage control.
He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
