you sent me 5 happy birthday texts last night. one after the other. spelled differently.
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
lol hangovers are for mortals.
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize
