Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
Randomize
