I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
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