i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
