I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
