what day is it and did you see me today?
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
You've changed since you got that strap on
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
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