Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize
