i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Randomize
