I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Randomize
