my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize
