I'm taking a dump and eating a fortune cookie and it said "Force it to be successful"
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
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