Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
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