so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
