How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
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