we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
