You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Randomize
