today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
He passed out mid-signature
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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