This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
Randomize
