Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
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