The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
Randomize
