Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
that's an acceptable place to lick
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
Randomize
