if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Randomize
