I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
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