remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
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