I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
Dignity is for republicans.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Randomize
