We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
how do flat chested girls get laid?
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
Randomize
